let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
