my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
