some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
