I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Couch. On fire.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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