I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
