I'm lost and stupid without you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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