So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
