He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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