Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
