He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
