the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
