My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
