Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
