You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
