yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
