can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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