my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize