one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
