I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize