so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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