I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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