I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
