I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize