Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
