If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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