the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize