ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
