It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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