my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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