Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
