I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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