I think i peed on brittanys purse
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize