There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize