Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
