i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
