Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
