I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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