Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
