i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He felt like a one man threesome
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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