weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
