Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
