he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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