I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
