So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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