Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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