Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
