You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Randomize
