I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
