She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
