I'm lost and stupid without you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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