could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
