what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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