you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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