I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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