He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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