You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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