I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
people are starting to question the shark bite story
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
