would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
