I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize