i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
