belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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