dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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